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Another child=forever in debt?

March 27th, 2007 at 02:21 pm

So recently my DH and I have been talking about having another child. We already have Caleb who is 2.5 and he is wonderful. But daycare costs in this area are insane. Having another child in daycare would mean another $1000 a month in daycare charges alone (we are already paying $950/month for Caleb). Even figuring that we won't be buying anymore diapers than we are now because Caleb will be potty trained by the time Baby 2 were to come along and all other expenses could be easily absorbed, it seems almost impossible to carve $1000 out of our already tight budget.

Yes, we are working hard at getting out of debt. In all likelihood, we will be out of revolving debt in the next year, but that would only free up about $500 per month. In order to come up with the rest we would have to stop putting money away in savings, which I am hesitant to do.

Everyone we have ever talked to has said, if you wait until you can afford kids you will never have them. And I can understand that you do what you have to and make sacrifices where needed, but I can't seem to wrap my head around the economic implications.

I know what some of you will be thinking...Could I stay home with the kids? While it is true that 2 kids in daycare is expensive, I currently make the same amount of money as my DH. So one of us staying home would mean cutting our income in half! Plus, I have worked VERY hard to get where I am and I ENJOY working. Many of my "friends" don't get that but I am done apologizing to them for making the decision that is right for me.

OK, whine fest over. I know I should stop being so selfish and just get over my hang-ups. *sigh*

11 Responses to “Another child=forever in debt?”

  1. monkeymama Says:

    I just had to say we cut our income in 1/2 to have kids. It can be done. We live in a pricey area and daycare runs about the same. Of course though we both made the same we didn't make that much. So 1 entire income would go to daycare and taxes. But you may want to consider your tax situation. You may pay significantly less taxes on 1 income which would help bridge the gap.

    Then again if you rather work, I here you too. Can you work opposite schedules or both work part-time to cut daycare expenses??? I also noticed the daycare went way down once the kids turned 2 & even 3. It is insane the first 2 years. You may want to shop around. My son is in a daycare part-time that is about as cheap as they come but so excellent I wouldn't put him anywhere else. My hubby stays home with the kids, but needs a break and the boys need socializing. Could not even imagine it before he turned 2 though - way too pricey and out of our budget.

    I keep 90% of my paycheck since we are only 1 income. Was certainly not the case before. Just FYI. If you want to send me a private e-mail I could always review your tax situation and see if you would benefit from cutting your income. But it all comes down probably to you like your job. Does your dh like his??? Wink

  2. monkeymama Says:

    I just had to add that besides daycare it amazes me how little are 2nd kid cost. IT is not nearly as expensive as the first child (well doesn't have to be) in the first few years. If you don't feel ready is one thing, but I think there is a benefit to having kids close in age and just wanted to throw that out as well.

  3. Brooklyn girl Says:

    Are you at the limit of your childbearing age or do you still have some time? I guess that's a major factor.

    People who give you this advice are not going to pay your family's expences. This mentality sounds very irresponsible to me. A world would be a better place if people had children only if they could afford to support them. Wars could be avoided.

    I think parents have an obligation to give children stability, security, and even some opportunity in life. And not sing the "I sacrificed everything for you, gave up my dreams.... so that you can accomplish something" song. Passing on the responsibility for success and dreams on to their child, instead of having done it themselves. Kind of hypocritical.

  4. boomeyers Says:

    You already answered your own question. If you wait to afford them, you'll never have them. Go for it and enjoy! Decisions will come and go and you will do your best and make them. We have 3 and I stayed at home, but like you said, it is because I LIKE staying at home. If I did'nt, I would work. You can never judge others decisions, we are all unique!

  5. newlyfrugal Says:

    Thanks for the comments! To answer a couple questions, I am 30 so not exactly ready for menopause, but I don't want to be 60 when my kids graduate HS either. DH and I both love our jobs and while staying home for a couple of years sounds like a good idea, it would effectively kill any chance of career advancement I currently have. That just complicates the decision even more. I am glad to hear that the second kid costs less...I told DH that even if we have a girl she is going to have to get used to wearing lots of blue because that is the color cloths we have. Wink And we do already have all the "stuff" that we would need and of course it is all currently in my way!

  6. fairy74 Says:

    Maybe there's a happy medium, wait until your revolving debt is gone, that way your $500 closer to being able to afford it, any way either of you could ask for a raise in the next year? Could you start a childcare coop with other moms who work different schedules from you. How about going part-time (which someone else said) that way you can keep your work contacts but cut down on the amount of time childcare is needed.

  7. newlyfrugal Says:

    Fairy -- great thoughts! Unfortunately, around here there is no such thing as part time care; you pay the same price whether the child is there or not during the week. And that goes for in-home care as well. We are planning on being out of debt in a year and since it takes 9 months for a baby to come along we could look at trying this summer. But that is only if everything goes as planned. *keeping fingers crossed*

  8. pablo71 Says:

    My wife and I live in Wisconsin and just had our first child. We both made the same amount of money, but since my wife had the benefits, I stay at home. It definitely can be done. I think the #1 factor that has allowed us to do this is that we bought an inexpensive house. Rather than buy new or a McMansion, we elected to purchase a 50 year old home that cost $99,000 that needed remodeling / updating. The house is large enough (1700sf / 4 bedrooms 1 1/2 baths) for our immediate and future needs. Since our house payment is only $800 per month (PMI, taxes, and homeowners included), we are able to swing having only one person work to maintain our lifestyle. I was unhappy with my job too which made it a good time to leave. Good luck with your decision!

  9. Carolina Bound Says:

    It sounds like you really want to have another child, and you also want to continue to work. I agree with those above that paying off your debt beforehand would be a good plan. It would be a strong motivator to get rid of that debt, and you would have more money to put toward day care. With Caleb at only 2.5, and you only 30, you have time to wait a year or so.

    Best of luck to you!

  10. monkeymama Says:

    I planned ahead and bought lots of neutral things just in case with the first. But ended up with 2 boys. If it was a girl she would have worn a lot of boys clothes around the house - LOL. OF course with daycare you may be a little more embarrased to parade your kid in boys clothes (if it's a girl) but the nice thing is a girl can get away with boys clothes - doesn't work so well the opposite way. Wink
    I was just thinking these last few years have been more financially drainig than I ever imagined so I can't fault you for wanting to keep working. Was lucky to have a hubby who hated his job so made sense. But if not the battle would be on who would stay home, or most of the income would go to daycare. But the big picture is it won't put a dent in your income (taking a break in a career) so even when daycare is so expensive, it can pay off for the long run.

    I wouldn't write off PT care. At face value it is unheard of here but I now have a son who goes in 2 full days a week and she is willing to take my younger son 1/2 day a week when he is ready (now that she totally loves them both). But she has a couple of kids who only come 2 days a week and such (different days than my son). Harder to find, but more common than you think.

    Well good luck whatever happens!!!

  11. robex Says:

    Have you looked into having a live-in nanny? If you have a spare room in your home, a nanny, whose room and board is covered, wouldn't be paid $1950 a month...would they?

    It's always a big decision to make. We have 3 kids and I really wanted to stay home with them. In order to do so, I quit a job that I loved and started waitressing 2 shifts a week when Dh was home. I wasn't fond of that job, did it for 6 years, but it was important to me to be home with my kids and that's what it took for us to afford it.

    Everyone's different. I'm not implying that you should quit your job and stay home...it'll all work out. Always seems to!

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